Ask The Dark Knight Characters!
by Insanium
Summary: Thats Right! You can ask the dark knight characters anything! so come on, I know you want to! so come on in and ask them something!
1. Introduction

**Introduction**

Will: Here, yes, YOU can ask the dark knight characters anything!!!

Fox: YES! This is how it works---

Will: Um, Fox that is still my job

Fox: *pouts and goes back to stand in a corner*

Will: Okay what YOU do is that YOU leave a comment or review asking 1, 2, 3, 4 (and so on), or all of them, 1 to 4 questions. If you have multiple questions you can aim them at different people or just ask 1 or everyone your question(s). Okay! Lets see who we have here… we have Alfred, Bruce (batman), Crane, Rachel, Fox, The Joker, and ME.

Alfred: Ello

Bruce: .........

Crane: *Poke* *Poke*

Rachel: Hi!

Fox: *Pout* I wanted to do that!

Joker: *Cackle*

Will: And let the questions BEGIN!

Will: WAIT oh yeah and look out sometimes other characters want to answer other characters questions so be careful what you ask! *wink*


	2. Episode 1

Will: HELLO AND WELCOME, THIS IS OUR FIRST OUT OF MANY EPISODES!

Harvey: Um will… in the introduction, yeah, YOU FORGOT TO INTRODUCE ME!

Will: What's that? Did you hear something?

Harvey: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAG

Will: There it was again!

Harvey: INTRODUCE ME!!!!

Will: It must have just been my imagination…

Harvey: I'm right here! INTODUCE ME!

Will: ……Oh hey Harvey, didn't see you there.

Harvey: *Strangles will*

Joker: *Rolls around onground laughing*

Will: *gasp* *Reaches for big purple that use to be red*

Will: *rips harvey's hands off of his neck* Okay, who painted the button purple!

Everyone: *looks at Joker*

Joker: Why is everyone at MWA looking me? What wrounge have I ever done.

Bruce: You killed half of gothams citizens.

Joker: Well there's that… but the that wasn't my goal so I guess that doesn't really count.

Bruce: YES IT COUNTS, YOU KILLED A BUNCH OF ITOCIENT PEOPLE! FOR FUN!

Joker: Oh, my bad!*Cracks up on ground laughing*

Bruce: *Tries to strangle Joker but fails epically*

Crane: *Watch's the two fights goin on for 5 minutes*

Crane: *shrugs, and starts to strangle Rachel*

Alfred: *looks at Fox*

Alfred: *Bites Fox's throat*

Vghdob: EVERYBODY STOP IT! AND GET TO MY QUESTION ALREADY!!!!!!!!!!

Everyone: *pauses in mid fight* "…Okay…"

Will: *shuffles over to now purple button*

Will: *Clicks big purple button*

**********************************************************************************

**Rachel - Just saying, dude, you're old. Too old for bruce wayne, it's sorta perverted.**

**Joker - Will you marry me?**

**XD**

Fox: This question came from **vghbob**

Will: Okay Rachel *snickers*

Rachel: HEY! IS THAT A QUESTION? IS THAT LEGAL?

Bruce: Shhhhh don't say that vghbob she might never give me a chance!

Joker: *Laughs hysterically*

Everyone(- Rachel and Bruce): *Laughs along with joker!* Rachels an… OLD GRANDMA!!! *sticks tongues out*

Crane: *Rolls on ground laughing* Rachel! OLD GRANDMA! HAHAHA!!!!!!! COOOOKIES!

Everyone: *Blinks* Cookies?

Crane: *Pauses* I-I… I said… I said… Wussy! I said wussy not cookies! Ha! Ha! Haha…

Will: ................ Way to ruin Crane…

Rachel: *pouts and mutters* I am not old… _Ive been putting on that wrinkle cream every night like the doctor told me to… hmmm Ill just put it on double as much as I use to! Yeah, that has to work! Then I will look just as good as ANGELENA JULIE! IM COMING ANGIE! LOOK OUT!!!!!!! _MWAHHAAHAHAHA!

Everyone: *Looks at Rachel and blinks twice*

Rachel: um… I….

Will: Okay… Joker, answer your question.

Joker: Well… Is she single?

Rachel: *Stares at Joker accusingly* Why would YOU care!

Joker: Well…..

Rachel: Spit it out CLOWN

Joker: I only date married woman *Licks lips*

Rachel: *Dies*

Joker: *Cracks up laughing* HEEEEEHEHHOOOOAHHAHAHEHOHOO

Rachel: AHHH YOU!!!!!!!*Slaps joker repetitively*

Harvey: Go get em' muffin cake!

Bruce: Hit him harder! USE THE FISTS!

Alfred: Refreshments?

Fox: *Tries to get to button before will*

Crane: *Stares at fight with mouth open*

Will: *Notices Fox running toward the big purple button* Not a chance Fox! *Tackles Fox*

Fox: Noooo! *tries to get away*

Will: Crane! Press the button!

Crane: Me? Yay! *skips over to button*

Joker: *Brakes from Rachel grasp and tackles Crane*

Crane: *Gasps* Joker WHY?

Rachel: Oh no you cant get away from ME CLOWN FACE! *Tackles Joker*

Crane: *slips away and presses button*

**Jonathan: Favourite band? Most embarassing moment? What you like about Arkham (pre and post your capture) What you think of Joker/Rachel/Batman/Bruce etc. Are you a virgin?**

Fox: This question came from **Dystopiac**

Will: Okay, Crane?

Crane: Band? Do musicals count?

Will: sure… I guess

Crane: WIZARD OF OZ! ALL OF IT! EVERY SINGLE SONG! IT'S INSPIRING!

Alfred: *Blink* *blink* HAHAHAHAHAH!!!!! Classic! Just classic! Bravo!

Everyone(-Crane): *Busts a gut*

Will: No! Seriously?

Crane: What? What's so funny? I don't get it! *Pouts*

Will: Okay, okay, next question Crane?

Crane: Okay… Oh that's easy! Once I was break dancing in a club! Right? So the I get down funky with it, and I knocked over the DJ's rap table like thingy!

Harvey: …….. that's from a commercial...

Crane: …. Um…. So?

Will: Whatever, next question?

Crane: Um… oh! Steve of course!

Joker: Oh, STEVE! I love that guy! *Gives Crane high five*

Everyone(-Joker and Crane): Who's STEVE???

Crane: You don't know STEVE!!!

Joker: How do you live with yourselves!

_Everyone is speechless and just spits out a pfth! And they're crazy! But they are all thinking deep inside, asking themselves Should I know this guy?_

Will: Okay Crane, next question please?

Crane: Sure… Wait! *reads again* Do I have to answer that?

Will: *Snickers* Yes Crane, you do! You do!

Everyone(-Crane): *Stares at Crane*

Crane: *Holds breath and looks around at all the eyes staring at him* Um… I... *Panics* *Turns around speedily and presses big purple button*

**i would like you to include this:**

**,first off**** i love you! You are a sex god!**** i want to know what YOU fear the don;t think you're safe from me because I WILL BE BACK!**

Fox: This question came from **La Reine De La Nuit**

Will: Okay Crane, answer your question *Stares at Crane angrily* *Whispers in Cranes ear* You pull a stunt like that again, and I will kill you!

Crane: *Shudders*

Crane: Okay I will answer it, but what is that crossed out stuff?

Will: Oh that's nothing… just answer the question

Crane: *stares at question in horror* Oh my god! She scares me!

Will: Well I guess that answers the question. *Presses big purple button*

**Em... hm, let me think...**

**1. Alfred, you rock! Have you ever thought of getting in on Batman's action, you know donning a mask yourself? Fox, you can comment too**

**2. Joker, you looking for any sidekicks?... I'm available. **

**3. Rachel- you tick me off and I want to know why you couldn't have spared us all the drama and ditched Harvey Dent and went with poor Bruce Wayne, who's life is pretty much crap right now and needs some sprucing up.**

**4. ookay. Bruce, first of all you don't get enough credit, your pretty too! Do you wear anything underneath your Batsuit?**

**hahahahah, oh this is so much fun! Joker uh... you are so hot, seriously, well...hahahaah. Better watch out Will, don't you dare go near him! Better update soon...or else. Hahah**

Fox: This question came from **MacAttack5**

Will: Okay first question is for Alfred and Fox.

Alfred: Why thank you MacAttack5, I was thinking about something like… *gets dressed in special suit* "Batman, Duckman, and Mooseman fighting crime!"

Everyone(-Alfred): *Stares at Alfred in Duck costume*

Will: Um, that's great Alfred, but who's Mooseman?

Fox: I thee MooseMan! *Fox says in a heroic voice in moose costume*

Will: *Stares blankly* Okay… next question… Joker?

Joker: Well, I did meet this girl named Harrrrley in Arkham and I did promise her that she could be my sidekick… but I think she's crazy so… YOU HIRED *Laughs hysterically*

_MacAtack5 some how appears out of thin air._

MacAttack5: SERIOUSLY!?! *Drags Joker in to the distance* We have so many diabolically crazy things to do!

Will: *Shouts after joker who's still laughing* Come back soon! Next question? Rachel?

Rachel: I… Like blonds?

Bruce: WHAT? *Dies hair blonde and looks up at Rachel hopefully*

Rachel: Natural blonds?

Bruce: *Collapses* WHY GOD!?! WHY MUST I BE CURSED WITH THIS AWSOMELY COOL JET BLACK HAIR!?!?

Will: Okay next question, Bruce?

Bruce: *sniffs* You really think so? Well, to answer your question, it really depends on the weather

Harvey: ………… LOSER! *Sticks out tongue*

Bruce: What? *Starts to sob* WHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!??????????!!!!!!!!!!!??????? WHY IS LIFE SO MEAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *Freaks out*

Will: Oh my god he's breaking everything, Rachel! Say something!!!!

Rachel: What do I say!?!

Will: I don't know! Just do it!

Rachel: Ummm okay… *Turns to bruce* Umm… I think your pinky toe is sexy?

Bruce: REALLY? *Dies*

Will: That's one way to solve the problem….*Pushes button*

**Lucius Fox: You. Are. GAWD-AHH. Just sayin'. What's it like being so amazingly awesome? **

**Joker: I love you. Can I give you a hug?**

**Joker(Again): Cosplay is fun! Do you dress up like a nurse often? **

**Rachel: What's it like being dead? XD**

Fox: This Question came from **Dufrene Party of Two**

Will: Fox?

Fox: Well I guess its amazingly awesome *Winks*

Will: Joker?

Joker: Hug away!

Dufrene Party of Two: *Runs over to hug Joker*

MacAttack5: *Shoots Dufrene Party of Two* NOT MY LOV*Stops saying love*- BOSS!

Will: Um… Joker?

Joker: Yep *Cracks up*

Will: Rachel?

Rachel: *looks down at Dufrene Party of Two's dead body* I don't know? Whats it like for YOU? *gives MacAttack5 high five* *Presses button*

**Okay my question is for everyone; so here goes,**

**If you were to lets say sing a song to someone, what song would it be and to whom.**

Fox: This question came from **LoopyLuna89**

Will: Paper planes to Bruce

Bruce: Lollipop to Rachel

Rachel: Ewwwww bruce!

Rachel: Barbie girl to myself

Harvey: I hate everything about you to Joker, Bruce, and Will

Joker: Fresh prince of Gotham(on YouTube) To Gotham

Fox: Mr. Roboto to Bruce

Alfred: Just dance to the world!!!

Crane: I love you(Barney) to Grandma! *Clicks button happily*

**Okay, I have a couple of questions**

**Rachel: What do you see in Harvey anyway?**

**Joker: can you feel it when someone punches you?**

**Bruce: I think your cute! Will you go out with me since ur like available now?**

**I shall return with more questions! Hahahahaha!**

**~Tiara~**

Fox: This question came from **SparklingTiara95**

Will: Okay… here we go now… Rachel?

Rachel: Well, Harvey is hansom! And he…. Well I really never thought about it much…

Harvey: *Says hopefully* for who I am?

Rachel: Of course not silly!

Harvey: *Dies*

Will: *Points and laughs at Harvey* Okay! Next question, Joker?

Joker: hm… Let me check! *Punches himself* *Laughs hysterically* Ohhh yes!

Will: Bruce?

Bruce: *Twitches* No. *Presses button very speedily!*

**All righty! {rubs hands together}**

**Jonathan- Where were you during all the mayham the Joker was causing?**

**Joker- First thing, yes, I wanna know how you got your scars, no, I dont want see a magic trick, and yes, I believe their balls DID drop off. Second, what was going through your mind when Batsy flipped your truck? This is awkward but, can I just, uh, touch your scars?**

**Bruce- When will Wayne manor be completed?**

**Batman- Do you have throut cancer or is that mask of yours just cutting off your air supply?**

Fox: This question came from **Jester**

Will: Crane?

Crane: Ohhhh that's easy! I was at Grandma's house eating Grandma's cookies!

Everyone(-Crane): *Blinks*

Will: Well that explains the whole Grandma/cookie thing… Joker?

Joker: WHICH LIE SHALL I CHOOSE!

Will: You can't lie, Joker!

Joker: What?

Will: You can't lie!

Joker: Then what's the point of her asking?

Will: *Shakes head* just answer the next question then!

Joker: Okay… It wasn't MY truck… *Smiles widely*

Joker: And NO you can't touch my scars! These scars cost more the your soul!

Will: A question for Bruce?

Bruce: When that high-speed train is completed!

Bruce: And NO It is neither of those things! I just like sounding like Darth Vader! *Clicks button violently*

**Hey bro, awesome fanfiction idea! *strokes imaginary beard* Now let me see...**

**Joker- (I'm not sure if you know this... but we're married. XD Long story.) If you had to be hadncuffed to one person here, who would it be? What do you think is the funniest way to die? Please, for the sake of fangirls everywhere, HOW DID YOU GET THOSE SCARS? And I think the world deserves to know... boxers or briefs? XD**

**Crane- (You're my second favorite, if the Joker wasn't available, I'd marry you in a second.) Do you hate your last name? 'Cuz it is after all... a skinny bird. XD Can I call you Jonny? Jonny-boy? Jon-Jon? Jonsy? Straw man? Scaredycrow? Carecrow? *rambles off random pet names* Would you be mad at me if I sprayed you with your own toxin? Have you made any toxins that DON'T induce fear? Because, with all your work, you might get a little lonely or somethin'... whatever, I don't judge.**

**Harvey: Why the hell were you SUCKING GAS in that scene with the oil drums? Last time I checked, inhaling gas didn't make bombs explode. And why don't you admit it, you didn't care that Rachel died, you were just moaning about the loss of your perfect golden locks, weren't you?**

**Alfred: Can I become your apprentice?! I want to have an awesome english accent too! 8D**

Fox: And this question came from---

_OutcastToReality(Hailey) somehow appeared out of thin air with her __**Dare**__ The Dark Knight Characters Crew_

Hailey: ME!

Will: Hello SIS!

Hailey: Hello BRO! My dark knight crew just wanted to see your dark knight crew! And I just wanted to drop in, and see the place!

Will: Awesome *gives Hailey tour*

_Mean while…_

Joker1: Wanna know how I got these scars?

Joker2: YES! You want to share lies?

Joker1: Hell yeah! *Gives Joker2 high five*

Alfred1: Very pleasant to meet you!

Alfred2: Quite! Refreshments?

Alfred1: Don't mind if I do!

Fox2: I was just designing this knew suit! Cat is the new Bat!

Fox1: Really? Show me it!

Bruce1: So what's up with the catsuit?

Bruce2: Fox says cat is the knew bat…

Bruce1: Oh…

Rachel1: What happened to you?

Rachel2: Oh, I do dares…

Rachel1: Ewww!

Rachel2: I know right?

Harvey1: I hate Will…

Harvey2: I hate Hailey…

Crane1: *Pokes Crane2*

Crane2: OUCH!!! MY EYE!

Crane1: IM SORRY! *Diels 911*

_And as the tour continues_

Hailey: *Looks at big purple button* What does THIS do?

Will: NO DON'T PRESS THAT!

Hailey: *Presses button anyway*

**HI FRIEND!**

**Question...**

**Do you know the muffin man?**

**If you answer you get a double stuffed cookie to eat.**

**(throws delicious cookie between everyone.)**

**Let the battle of cookies begin.**

**MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!**

Will: *Smacks Hailey* *Notices Cookies*

Everyone: *Dives on cookies* *Fights with their duplicates for cookies!*

_And the Dark Knight Characters fought for the cookies, yes they did, all through the __**KNIGHT!**_

Okay you guys, so I hope you liked it, and if there is any way I can improve this fanfic on the next episode, let me know somehow! Thank you everyone for reading, and keep leaving questions!

_Ps: Yes, you can leave questions for Harvey_


	3. Episode 2

_Everyone wakes up after a long night of a fight for some extremely good cookies_

Will: *Gets of floor slowly* is everyone OK?

Hailey: *Groans* I'm good.... thanks….

Will: Not you!... why are you even still here?

Hailey: *Blinks* oh, right, bye! *Disappears*

_Yes, Hailey disappears out of thin air! Along with her dark knight crew_

Will: Okay now everyone else okay?

Harvey: Im alright…

Will: When I say everyone, what I mean is Crane, Fox, Rachel, Alfred, Bruce, and JOKER!

Harvey: *dies*

Everyone(-Will and Harvey): yeah, were okay….

Rachel: ugh but that Rachel is STRONG!

Will: yeah well that's what happens when you do dare's!

Bruce: Yeah we lost big time…

Crane: I didn't lose… *Crane speaks for the first time holding up a bag filled with cookies*

Everyone(Crane and Alfred: *blinks*

Everyone(-Crane and Alfred): *Jumps on Crane viciously*

Rachel: *Holds up high-heel shoe* Crane; give me those cookies and NO ONE GETS HURT!

Crane: *Pokes head out of dog pile and breathes in deeply* WE COULD ALL JUST SHARE!

Everyone(-Crane and Alfred): *Pauses* ……………………… Nah! *Continues with fight for Cranes cookies*

Alfred: Refreshments? *There was no response*

Alfred: *frowns angrily* *Clicks button* HA!!!

**Everyone- If you could kill anyone in the room right now who would it be?**

Fox: This question came from **Phillz**

Will: Phillz???

Fox: Yes Phillz….

Will: Well that's not a very creative name…

Phillz: Yeah, well you got a problem with that?

Will: No… Phillz is good *Coughs* Loser! *Coughs*

Phillz: Very mature…

Will: *Snickers and reads question* Well that's not a very creative question either….

Phillz: You have a problem with THAT! *Holds up a tea spoon threateningly*

Will: *Ignores Phillz and thinks about something else* _Okay what devious thing shall I do to Harvey today! Hmmmm I could swap his toothpaste with cement? Nah, I did that last week…. I could paint his cat blue! Nah I did that 2 days ago…. Hmm I could always put a chocolate cupcake down his pants, nah I just did that 1 minute ago…_

Harvey: Why is there a cupcake in my pants!

Will: _…. Hmmm I shall ask Joker!_

Will: Hey joker, what devious thing can I do to Harvey that will completely destroy him today!?!?

Joker: Well, what does he love most?

Will: Curious George?

Joker: No, more then that…

Will: One of those cooking shows?

Joker: No! EVEN MORE THEN THAT!!!

Will: Uhhhhh….

Joker: Rachel! Hehehahahahaha!!!!!!!

Will: and…?

Joker: Let me explain… *Licks lips*

_Meanwhile…_ _the rest of the crew is answering the question._

Everyone: *Points at Harvey*

Harvey: what did I do?

Everyone: Nothing, Will just paid us 20 bucks

Harvey: *Dies*

_And as Joker and Will continues_

Will: Uh… I don't get it

Joker: *Stares at Will blankly* *Blinks* *Shakes head* *Walks away*

Will: *Shrugs* *Presses button*

**Several questions!**

**Bruce: What did YOU see in Rachael? I mean come on, she really isn't that great. You can do better. And another question; why did you spray Crane with his fear toxin? Before he was all AMAZING and now he's insane. Way. To. Go.**

**Fox: Why the fu**

Fox: This question came from **Bat-Girl-1194**

Joker: Take it away Brucey!

Will: *Slaps Joker upside the head* grrrrr… MY JOB!

Joker: HEHEAHAHAHAHOHO *Goes into unstoppable laughter*

Bruce: Ummm okay… I love everything about her! She is that great! THERE IS NO BETTER!*Looks up at Rachel hopefully*

Rachel: *Slaps Bruce* control yourself!

Bruce: And Crane isn't completely crazy… *Looks over at Crane who happens to be playing with his toes*

Crane: And this little piggy went to the market… And this little piggy…

Bruce: Yeah… that was my bad…

Will: Next question please, Fox

Fox: I… I'm scared to ask how she was going to end that sentence

Will: *Snickers* this is SO much fun *Presses button*

**Okay, let's see what I want to ask...**

**Alfred: Do you like being Bruce Wayne's butler?**

**Rachel: If you had to choose to marry either Crane or Joker, who would you pick and why?**

**Batman: Why didn't you choose to pick Rachel and rescued Harvey instead? I know that you were tired of her and her constant cries of 'Batman, save me!' (Even though she didn't say that, I'm sure she thought that in her head xD), but BrucexRachel lovers out there just won't admit it! xD**

**Joker: Why did you dress up like a clown, do you like making little children scared of you? LOL**

**Hopefully you guys answer these...good job Will! Silent Knight over and out!**

Fox: This question came from **SilentKnightInDisguise11**

Will: Take it away Alfred! *Sticks tongue out at joker*

Alfred: Well, umm yes of course…

Crane: THE TRUTH!?!? *Stares Alfred down with his eyed almost touching Alfred's*

Alfred: Yes… I really do

Crane: *Keeps staring at Alfred determinedly*

Alfred: Umm… oh… UGH! *Faints*

Will: Um… I hope that answered the question… Rachel?

Rachel: Joker! *Says automatically*

Bruce: JOKER?

Harvey: WHY?

Rachel: Well Crane plays with his toes…

Crane: And this little piggy…

Bruce and Harvey: Understandable…

Will: Okay and Bruce?

Bruce: The CLOWN switched the address!

Joker: HEHAHOHOHOHAHAHAHEHE!

Bruce: I hate you

Joker: Wouldn't like it any other way *Licks lips*

Will: Next question please, Joker?

Joker: To answer the question… Yesss *Pounds button*

**Hi all!**

**ok questions.**

**This is the one everyone wants to know so I'm just gonna ask it..**

**Batamn, joker DID you two feel something that's NOT hate during that incredibley HOT interrigation scene (seriously, it was hot...they should pause the movie for 10 minutes to everyng can smoke a ciggerte.) p.s I htink your both sexy! :hugs:**

**Crane: I gotta ask...Are you attracted to batman? (I mean in the basment sence after you gassed rachel when you realized he was there you seemed pretty hapy) P.s: I think your sexy too! :hugs:**

Fox: This question came from **lost soul's keeper**

Will: Bruce and Joker, please?

Joker: Well I felt nothing but I'm not to sure about Batsy here *Licks lips and laughs*

Bruce: *Dies*

Will: *Snickers* hehe Crane?

Crane: I don't understand…

Will: And he never ever will, trust me… *Clicks button*

**mwhahahaah! i'm back! i'm getting ever closer to you jonathan! now then i want to know what is your favorite food because i'm gonna make it for you one day!**

**also,i'd like know what joker prefers: boxers or ,i'd like every man to answer that question.**

**like i said before,i'll be back jonathan!**

Fox: This question came from **La Reine De La Nuit**

Will: Okay then, Crane?

Crane: Candy! And briefs? I think

Will: Okay *Presses button*

**This queastion is for Scarecrow: **

**Are you single? If you are give me a holla!...lol **

**This is to Batman: **

**Do YOU need a sidekick? I really want to be Batgirl!But only if the Joker doesnt shoot me in the stomache, paralyze me and take naked pictures of me like he did in the comic books because that wouldnt be too nice...:(**

Fox: This question came from **BATGIRL**

Will: Crane?

Crane: HOLLA!

Everyone(-Crane): *Dies*

Will: Oh my god *Dies again*

Will: *Takes deep breath* Bruce?

Bruce: No, I work alone

Joker: That's not what I hear… What about Barba---

Bruce: *Strangles Joker*

Will: *Clicks button*

**well, you just pretty much wrote out my fantasy.**

**Joker, screw Harley! We make a diabolical team! muhahaha... watch out fan girls, let Dufrene Party of Two be an example of what happens when you mess with my lo... boss (lol)**

**Harvey...so what did you think of the Harvey Dent from Batman Forever? Your better, I like your golden locks**

**Mkay, question for Alfred and Fox with their superhero ideas... one problem. only one of you can be in charge, would you get rid of Batman and take the title, or join the sidekicks??**

**you the man will!**

Fox: This question came from **MacAttack5**

Will: Harvey?

Harvey: I find him very… blonde

Bruce: *Laughs out loud* Phth!

Harvey: Grrrrr

Will: And Alfred and Fox?

Alfred: I would assassinate both Bruce and Fox so I can get all of the credit and hot ladies

Bruce and Fox: *Stares at Alfred flabbergasted*

Will: That's a little scary Alfred, but I guess that answers the question *Clicks button*

**I AM IMMORTAL YOU FIEND! HA HA HA HA HA HA! No one can defeat the INFAMOUS, the EXTRAORDINARY: DUFRENE PARTY OF TWO! HA HA HA HA HA!**

**... Ah-hem. Sorry 'bout that. Got carried away there didn't I? Rhetorical question. Yes, yes I did.**

**Now I'm going to quit using all caps to display my ultimate superiority. *Hugs Joker* Okay, now that I've gotten that out of the way, back to the questions:**

**Joker: If you had to pick another 'playing card' to go by, which one would it be? King? Ace? ... Jack?**

**Rachel: You still didn't answer my question. *glares at Rachel intently***

**Batman: Do you have throat cancer?**

**Crane: Have you ever kicked a puppy?**

Fox: This question came from **Dufrene Party of Two**

Will: Okay and Joker?

Joker: Well the Joker card resembles me, knowing the the joker has done the crime *Licks lips* But the "Ace of spades" song Resembles wild and craziness or ME! So I would choose ace of spades

Will: Rachel? The former question was **How does it feel being dead?**

Rachel: Neither have YOU!

Will: Answer the question Rachel

Rachel: Fine! It feels… It feels scandalous

Everyone(-Rachel): *Tries to hold in laughter*

Rachel: *Pouts* Just laugh you idiots!

Will: Okay *Laughs unstoppably*

Bruce: Rachel, IM SORRY! IT'S TO PRICELESS! *Busts a gut*

Harvey: _Stay strong Harvey, stay strong…_ _I cant! _*Bursts out laughing*

Crane: *Has a seizure then plays with his toes*

Fox: *Dies* *Revives* *Dies again*

Alfred: *Through peanuts at everyone*

Joker: *Brainwashes everyone to think that they're favorite pastries is muffins gives Bruce throat cancer and makes Crane think it's a good idea to kick a puppy*

Will: Okay everyone! Stop laughing, or throwing peanuts? And answer the next question Bruce?

Bruce: Of course No--- *Realizes the funny feeling in his throat* Well I didn't I sware! It was HIM! *Points the laughing Joker* He gave it to me!

Will: Yeah Bruce, I really don't care, Crane?

Crane: I—I and so SSSSSSSSSSSOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRRRRYYYYYYYY PUPPY! *Goes suicide*

Will: *Hits button*

**ROFL. XD Omg THANK YOU. That was priceless! But you didn't answer any of my questions! *death stare of doom* I'll deal with you LATER... when you least expect it! *cackles as thunder booms***

**While you're still alive, I will repost them for you!!**

**Joker- (I'm not sure if you know this... but we're married. XD Long story.) If you had to be hadncuffed to one person here, who would it be? What do you think is the funniest way to die? Please, for the sake of fangirls everywhere, HOW DID YOU GET THOSE SCARS? And I think the world deserves to know... boxers or briefs? XD**

**Crane- (You're my second favorite, if the Joker wasn't available, I'd marry you in a second.) Do you hate your last name? 'Cuz it is after all... a skinny bird. XD Can I call you Jonny? Jonny-boy? Jon-Jon? Jonsy? Straw man? Scaredycrow? Carecrow? *rambles off random pet names* Would you be mad at me if I sprayed you with your own toxin? Have you made any toxins that DON'T induce fear? Because, with all your work, you might get a little lonely or somethin'... whatever, I don't judge.**

**Harvey: Why the hell were you SUCKING GAS in that scene with the oil drums? Last time I checked, inhaling gas didn't make bombs explode. And why don't you admit it, you didn't care that Rachel died, you were just moaning about the loss of your perfect golden locks, weren't you?**

**Alfred: Can I become your apprentice?! I want to have an awesome english accent too! 8D**

**Oh, and thanks for the advertising! ;D I'll make sure to put in a word for you back in mine!**

Fox: This question came from **OutcastToReality**

Will: First off Joker?

Joker: Brucey, by marshmallows, and let me tell you a secret… *Whispers in Outcast's ear* There are something's that just happen… and the next morning *Licks lips* you have a big SMILE on your face, about what you _did_ the Night before… hmmm? But you don't know if I'm lying right now do you?

Will: Crane?

Crane: No, Carecrow, No, would you? I'm working on a LOVE TOXIN!

Will: Harvey?

Harvey: I didn't mean to! It seemed necessary at the time… Well and yes…

Will Alfred?

Alfred: YES OFCOURSE *Skips off into the distance with Hailey hitting the button on the way*

Im so happy that you put in my lamish question!

hm what delicious pastry should i throw in this time?

OK!

everyone, tell me youre favorite pastry and there SHALL be a banquet of the pastries that you lovey love!

(god like voice) LET THERE BE PASTRIES!

lol

from the silver bubble

Everyone: Muffins

_Everyone was at first a little confused why they all said muffins, but one the muffins rained down it was like heaven, and they all fought all the way throught the __**KNIGHT**_

_!$#%#%$^%&^&^%%%!%#^$!$%#^$^$%$^%&*(&*&*&!$*#%!%#^&*^_

_So, I am finally done, thank you guys for your patience, keep leaving question and I hope you liked it!_

_PS: If there is any way I can make this fanfic better in any way let me know and I will be sure to do so! Thanks bye!_


	4. Episode 3

_**An Ask The Dark Knight Characters Short**_

_Everyone is dead. Well mostly everyone…_

Crane: *Twitches* Muffins!

*******%**************************$*************&************~***********?

_I am going to start adding these little shorts throughout my episodes! I hope you liked this one, and here's your questions_

_!%$!^&^$#!^*&$!$##$^%&^*&%*%&*^&%$^$%#$!#!$#^&%#^&%*%&?#!_

**Does anyone else think Jack Thompson is more annoying then rush hour traffic?**

Fox: This question came from **Richard The Gaming Champ**

Everyone: *Blinks*

Crickets: *Makes cricket like sounds*

Everyone: *Clicks button slowly*

**Do you guys have any donuts?**

Fox: This question came from **Homer Simpson**

Everyone: Maybe… *Takes bite of donuts* *Clicks button*

**Should I launch myself out of a cannon?**

Fox: This question came from **Bill**

Everyone: YES! *Pounds on button*

**...Random funny...NICE...^^ Let's see, what would I ask?**

**This one's for Joker...I LOVES you in Dark Knight! 'hugs' I probably wouldn't want to get blown up or anything, but I thought you were funny!^^**

**For Bruce...Don't listen to them! Your cool Batman voice is AWESOME! 'huggles' Wouldn't you want sidekicks, though? I mean, like...ROBIN and BATGIRL...You had TWO Robins, for gosh's sake!**

**For Rachel...'smacks upside head'...WHAT WERE YOU THINKING!?! BRUCE IS AWESOME! HOW COULD YOU CHOOSE HARVEY OVER HIM!?!**

**Harvey: HEY...**

**Me: Oh, you shut up!**

**For Crane...Did you never think that making a concentrated dose of fear toxin may have been a BAD idea? For gosh's sake, you're playing with your toes!**

**Crane: 'playing with toes'**

**Me: 'smacks upside head' STOP DOING THAT!**

**For Alfred and Fox...Duckman? I don't think ducks really strike fear into the hearts of Gotham's citizens...And neither do moose!**

**Anyway...I'll be back later! And if no questions are answered, I'll blow up the hospital! ...AGAIN! 'holds flamethrower' 'aims at pile of dynamite'**

**LOVE,**

**Chibi!**

Fox: This question came from **ChibiLover123**

Will: Okay this is not exactly a question… but I promised ChibiLover123 I would make something happen so, I made something so awesome that you will cry! *Takes off cloth covering a shiny rainbow button*

Crane: *Wails and cries*

Will: This button will force you to do what ever she says! MWAHAHAHA!!! This button only has a one-time use so hope it works! *clicks button heroically in slow motion*

Bruce: Nothings happening….

Will: JUST WAIT!

Bruce: Wait, will I turn into a super hero or something!?

Will: You are a superhero…

Bruce: No I am not! The only super hero in Gotham is batman!

Will: You are batman!

Bruce: Ummm… *Looks around desperately* Uhhh… Its my actions that defy me! *Jumps off cliff*

Will: *shrugs and waves good bye*

Will: *Notices the blank faced Harvey Dent*

Harvey: *Says--- HEY--- without thinking* *Slaps both hands over mouth* Oh my god

ChibiLover123: Oh, you shut up

Harvey: I didn't mean to!

Will: *Snickers*

Crane(who is already playing with his toes): *flinches then keeps playing with toes*

ChibiLover123: *Smacks upside head* Stop doing that!

Crane: *Gets on knees* IM SORRY OH HIGH HOLY CHIBI PERSON! Forgive ME!

Will: *Pets new shiny rainbow button* You did good… *clicks the old, now purple button*

**Oh. My. Freakin. Gosh. **

**THAT WAS SO FUNNY! You and Hailey crack me up! Keep up the good work, I'll be keeping track of this story for sure :D**

**P.S. I have some questions:**

**Joker: Why purple? I mean, sure, it's a freakish awesome color, but...isn't it a little girly? But no worries, you look great in it.**

**Crane: Play with your toes!**

Fox: This question came from **JimandSteve**

Will: Joker?

Joker: Why? Simple, I make purple look gooood… *Licks lips*

Will: and Crane?

Crane: Okay! *Plays with toes rapidly*

Will: *Pokes button*

**I had to do alot of pondering for these next questions**

**Harvey...I have a question about your face, um how do you keep it from getting maggots and infected and stuff?**

**Hey Bruce! No one on here seems to be complimenting you, and that makes me sad. I think you are smoking hot, best superhero ever. Sorry Superman...not a chance spidey.**

**Did you ever want to be something else...before you got all revenge driven and became the sexy Batman?**

**Joker...first you didn't hear all those compliments for Batman (fidgets awkwardly) What would you do if there was NO BATMAN! (gasp) buhahahaha.**

**No questions for anyone else today...next time Scarecrow..**

**what? Dufrene Party of Two is still alive? Your going down! muhahahahahaha lol**

**stil the man Will**

Fox: This question came from **MacAttack5 **

Will: So, Harvey?

Harvey: Well, simple I just use a tooth brush and---

Will: *cuts Harvey off* *Coughs* Joker?

Joker: That's easy, I would move on to the next Sysco play boy that decides to dress up as a small animal *licks lips and turns slowly to look at batman*

Bruce: Well don't look at me! Its not like I'm batman or anything! That's--- that's crazy talk! Pth! *laughs awkwardly*

Joker: *Keeps staring at batman*

Bruce: Uhhhh ummmm ITS MY ACTIONS THAT DEFY ME! *Jumps off building*

Joker: HEHEHOHOHOAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!!! *Kicks button*

**OMG, thanks for answering my questions everyone! I want to ask a couple more.**

**Will: (I know you are not one of the characters in dark knight but you must feel left out) Okay, if you wanted to ask Rachel out on a date, how would you ask her? Also, can I be in one of your chapters? THEY ROCK AND ARE SO FRIGGIN' FUNNY!!**

**Fox: Will you do me a favor and check to see if Bruce is high or not? I think he is.**

**Crane: Did you spray Bruce on love toxin so he falls in love with Rachel? It's kind of creeping me out...**

**Bruce: Do you like being Batman? Why do you like Rachel so much?**

**Please do answer my questions again! Thank you Will for making this, you rock my socks off! (Even though I'm not wearing any right now. LOL) Silent Knight over and out!**

Fox: This question came from **SilentKnightInDisguise11**

Will: ME!

Will: Well, first I would tell her how pretty she looks three times in a row, then I would give her a mirror to prove it, and then I would ask her out on an all-vegetarian dinner and that night I would pick her up in a shiny silver Ferrari that was so shiny she could see herself in, and after the dinner I would tell her that I don't believe in kissing on a first date but I would make out with her anyway!

Rachel: *Mouth drops open* I LOVE YOU! *falls on will*

Will: *grins*

Harvey and Bruce: *Mouth drops open* *Whispers in wills ear* HOW DID YOU DO THAT!?!?

Will: I looked at her MySpace

Harvey: *Slaps head* Oh my god!

Bruce: *Slaps Harvey's head* Oh my god!

Harvey: Grrrrrr *Tackles Bruce*

Rachel: *Tries to kiss will*

Will: ummm *Pushes Rachel's mouth away from his* Sit!

Rachel: Okay…*Goes back to hugging will*

Will: *Grins*

Will: Fox?

Fox: Certainly, *looks Bruce in the eye*

Bruce: ITS MY ACTIONS THAT DEFY ME! *Jumps off small child*

Fox: Yes, definitely high

Will: *Pulls Rachel's hands off butt* Sit!

Rachel: Okay…*Goes back to hugging*

Will: Crane?

Crane: Uh-uh Bruce is just a love freak at heart

Will: Bruce?

Bruce: ITS MY ACTIONS THAT DEFY ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *Jumps of Harvey*

Bruce: She's preeeeeeeetttttttttttttyyyyyyyyy *Looks at the hugging Rachel adoringly*

Will: *Pries hand out of Rachel's tight grip and presses button*

**to joker: If you had to make out with one of the other men in hte cast who would it be?**

**To harvey and rachel: What's it like to be the two most hated characters in the fanfiction world?**

Fox: This question came from **lost soul's keeper**

Will: And to start with, Joker?

Joker: Well, *Looks at Rachel*

Rachel: But I'm not a, OH! *Slaps Joker*

Joker: *Laughs hysterically*

Will: Harvey and Rachel?

Harvey: Quite relieving actually…. Because I really don't like any of those fanfiction people anyway! So there!

Will: Then why are you crying?

Harvey: WHY DO THEY HATE ME!?!?!? *Sobs*

Will: Its okay Harvey… It's most likely that not just fanfiction people hate you but all people hate you

Harvey: *Glares at Will*

Rachel: Its okay that they hate me, I know I'm better then them anyways, I mean I have the most perfect boyfriend ever!

Will: Who's that?

Rachel: You

Will: I'm your boyfriend?

Rachel: Yes

Will: Okay I guess

Harvey and Bruce: *Dies*

Will: *Shrugs and presses button*

**Crane: *dies* LOVE TOXIN? Really now, Crane? I KNEW you would get desperate, all by your lonely self in your lab all the time... And did you say you WOULDN'T be angry if I sprayed you with one of your toxins?! 8D *sprays Crane with his own Love Toxin and cackles***

**Rachel: How do you feel, now that Harvey has admitted he didn't really care that you died? Feel free to express your feelings violently. ;D**

**Joker: *eyes go wide listening to story* That's HORRIBLE! D: I don't care if your lying, you never tell the truth anyway. Just curiosity speaking here: ...Where would be your ideal honeymoon spot? Why ask that, you say? *shifty eyes* ...No reason.**

Fox: This question came from **OutcastToReality**

Will: Mr. Carecrow?

Crane: *Gets sprayed with toxin and looks at his toes* I love you toes!

Will: *Slaps head* Rachel?

Rachel: I really don't care much anymore… *Kisses Will* *Sticks tongue out at Harvey*

Will(Stunned): *Licks lips and looks at Rachel* Cherry?

Rachel: *Nods*

Will: Joker?

Joker: Gotham! I've always wanted to go there! *Kicks button*

**Hehe. Great idea. It's a fun read.**

**Okay, questions:**

**Crane: If you were standing on a lake shore and you saw your grandma and her cookies drowning in the water, which would you save first?**

**Bruce: What was so scary about bats that time when you were a kid? Their cute!**

**Fox: Can you make me a batmobile? *looks hopefull***

**Joker: Ok, serious (*gasp!*) question time. If you could do your life all over again, would you want to become the Clown Prince of Crime, or would you choose a normal life?**

Fox: This question came from **Rude and not Ginger**

Will: Crane?

Crane: Grandmas house keys

Will: Why?

Crane: Grandmas house has a lifetime supply of cookies!

Will: I see… Bruce?

Bruce: I was never afraid of bats! Only batman was!

Everyone(-Bruce): YOU ARE BATMAN!

Bruce: ITS MY ACTIONS THAT DEFY ME *Jumps of toothpick*

Will: Fox?

Fox: Were all out of bat mobile, you want a cat mobile?

Will: Joker?

Joker: I would choose to be the clown KING of crime!*Kicks button*

**I've just got to ask -**

**Crane: What would you do if I gave you a girl who would love you perfectly and crazily the way you are (and no, it isn't me)? Would you marry her? Would you flip out when you'd find out that she's in love with Mistah J, too, as well as you.**

**Rachel: What do you think about Katie Holmes playing you the first time? Do you hate her as much as I do?**

**Bruce: What would you do if that after Rachel dies, you start to fall for another woman (not Selina Kyle, sorry) but Crane is love with her and the girl's in with Mistah J, and now you're all gonna fight? I'd really like to know.**

**Thanks so much!**

Fox: This question came from **Ruilu**

Will: Crane?

Crane: OFCOURSE, and no! why? Because I am the CARECROW!

Rachel: Yes! I hate that woman!

Bruce: I don't get your question… sorry… *Presses button slowly*

**An Ask The Dark Knight Characters Short**

Stranger: Get in the car

Crane: No!

Stranger: I have cookies

Crane: Okay…

*****************************************************************

_DONE! Yes this episode is a little shorter then my other ones, why? Because I didn't have enough questions! So please leave more question people! I hope you liked the shorts! And I hope you liked the story!_

_PS: YES YOU CAN LEAVE QUESTIONS FOR ME! *Stands on tall rock triumphantly*_


	5. Top Ten Reviews

_HERE ARE SOME OF MY FAVE REVIEWS (THIS IS A TRIBUTE TO MY…ERM…. FANS?)_

PEEBLES96

OK, one of my home-girls asked me to this for her because what with school almost being up she is busy doing nothing, so here it goes:

Crane: Just to let you know, that home-girl is Ruilu, anyway I want to know why you don't try dating. I mean, you seem very well-rounded, who wouldn't a sadistic psychologist who was once (before Mistah J came in) the Master of Fear - OK, that came out weird, but I'm serious (sorry, J), why don't you try eHarmony or Facebook or MySpace or or or something? Just asking.

Bruce: Why are you so damn annoying? - nah, I just screwing with ya! I wanted to ask why you make it so easy for everything to figure out your secret? Doesn't everybody remember - it's always the dumb playboy you least expect. That's an iron-clad rule for gals - that includes you, by the way.

Joker: How do you think Metropolis would feel if you showed? Would they recognize you? Do you think you can take on the Man of Steel? Would you call Batsy gay if you saw his Boy-Wonder Sidekick - not that I have anything with homosexuals, of course! Speaking of which, how do you feel about homosexuals, as in pro-gay, etcetc?

Rachel: Do you like cheese? PS tell Will I'm happy for him going out w/ you! You deserve a man who doesn't parade around in tights or has a butt-chin.

Harvey: Well, I just don't plain like you.

I'm outie 50, HA! Damn, haven't heard me say that since my Lizzie mcGuire Faze. Bye-ni!

JIMANDSTEVE

BWHAHAH!

That was great! Bravo my dear sir! Here's lots of questions since you were laking in this recent chapter.

Questions:

Crane: First of all Crane, you just have a mask! Why don't you ask Bruce or Mr. J to help you creat an actual supervillain outfit? I mean, you could have a Mr. Potato Head costume (Hey, it goes with the potato bag you wear on your head)

Bruce: I've heard rumors that Alfred is secretly a ninja, is this true?

Alfred: How can you be so old yet so awesome?

Rachel: You have issues. I suggest therapy sessions with Mr. J.

Joker: I recently spoke with Commissioner Gordan. He told me you were recently nominated "Gotham's Number 1 Bachelor". How do you feel about this?

Harvey: If you didn't have your lucky coin to flip, what could you use instead?

VAMPARIC-VAMPANEZE

Rachel - Just saying, dude, you're old. Too old for bruce wayne, it's sorta perverted.

Joker - Will you marry me?

XD

OUTCASTTOREALITY

Hey bro, awesome fanfiction idea! *strokes imaginary beard* Now let me see...

Joker- (I'm not sure if you know this... but we're married. XD Long story.) If you had to be hadncuffed to one person here, who would it be? What do you think is the funniest way to die? Please, for the sake of fangirls everywhere, HOW DID YOU GET THOSE SCARS? And I think the world deserves to know... boxers or briefs? XD

Crane- (You're my second favorite, if the Joker wasn't available, I'd marry you in a second.) Do you hate your last name? 'Cuz it is after all... a skinny bird. XD Can I call you Jonny? Jonny-boy? Jon-Jon? Jonsy? Straw man? Scaredycrow? Carecrow? *rambles off random pet names* Would you be mad at me if I sprayed you with your own toxin? Have you made any toxins that DON'T induce fear? Because, with all your work, you might get a little lonely or somethin'... whatever, I don't judge.

Harvey: Why the hell were you SUCKING GAS in that scene with the oil drums? Last time I checked, inhaling gas didn't make bombs explode. And why don't you admit it, you didn't care that Rachel died, you were just moaning about the loss of your perfect golden locks, weren't you?

Alfred: Can I become your apprentice?! I want to have an awesome english accent too! 8D

SILVER BUBBLE

HI FRIEND!

Question...

Do you know the muffin man?

If you answer you get a double stuffed cookie to eat.

(throws delicious cookie between everyone.)

Let the battle of cookies begin.

MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

SILVER BUBBLE

Im so happy that you put in my lamish question!

hm what delicious pastry should i throw in this time?

OK!

everyone, tell me youre favorite pastry and there SHALL be a banquet of the pastries that you lovey love!

(god like voice) LET THERE BE PASTRIES!

lol

from the silver bubble

DUFRENE PART OF TWO

I AM IMMORTAL YOU FIEND! HA HA HA HA HA HA! No one can defeat the INFAMOUS, the EXTRAORDINARY: DUFRENE PARTY OF TWO! HA HA HA HA HA!

... Ah-hem. Sorry 'bout that. Got carried away there didn't I? Rhetorical question. Yes, yes I did.

Now I'm going to quit using all caps to display my ultimate superiority. *Hugs Joker* Okay, now that I've gotten that out of the way, back to the questions:

Joker: If you had to pick another 'playing card' to go by, which one would it be? King? Ace? ... Jack?

Rachel: You still didn't answer my question. *glares at Rachel intently*

Batman: Do you have throat cancer?

Crane: Have you ever kicked a puppy?

MACATTACK5

well, you just pretty much wrote out my fantasy.

Joker, screw Harley! We make a diabolical team! muhahaha... watch out fan girls, let Dufrene Party of Two be an example of what happens when you mess with my lo... boss (lol)

Harvey...so what did you think of the Harvey Dent from Batman Forever? Your better, I like your golden locks

Mkay, question for Alfred and Fox with their superhero ideas... one problem. only one of you can be in charge, would you get rid of Batman and take the title, or join the sidekicks??

you the man will!

SHARK BLANK

Ok, so I am leaving some questions! WOO! *coughs*

Ok, so Harvey, would you make out with me? And if yes, do so!! I love you no matter what everyone else says! *hugs*

Crane!! I LOVE YOU! Would YOU make out with me? And if yes, do so! I love you too and your fear toxin!

And Bruce? If your going to continue jumping off of stuff, jump off of Harvey, just don't hurt him!! or you will die. OK? Because that was just the awesome.

HOMER SIMPSON?

Do you guys have any donuts?

!$^%$&%^$&*(&*&(*)(*^$%#^%#&^%#&#$!#%$^$!^%

_IF NONE OF YOUR REVIEWS ARE UP HERE DON'T BE SAD, I STILL LOVE ALL OF YOU GUYS!_


	6. Ask Riddler & Scarecrow

**Greetings ATDKC & Batman Fans,**

Sadly, I lied to you all, I did not continue to finish this last episode of ATDKC. I got really busy, and I know that is a bad excuse, but it's true. So I am very sorry about that.

**But what I'm not sorry about is that my sister and I kidnapped the Riddler and the Scarecrow (more to come). For your enjoyment we decided to force them to sit down and answer your questions. **

These stories will be found here: .net/s/6198417/1/Ask_Riddler

And here: .net/s/6204798/1/Ask_Scarecrow


End file.
